When there’s a will there’s a way, Chapter I

Your diabetes will never stop you from realizing your dreams.

“I’d love to do like you, you’re so brave.”

I think this is the sentence I hear all the time since I start travelling. But believe me, if I do, everyone can do it!

Almost four years ago I decided to start travelling. I was only 19 years old with a lot of ambition. Let me tell you why today I travel and how leaving has helped me to exist.

A dreary dream

We have to go back 8 years ago, I was 15 years old. I was a dancer at the National Dance Conservatory in Avignon. I was considering my future on stage as my passion was anchored in me. I danced and everything was fine. My type 1 diabetes was diagnosed 3 months before entering the conservatory. A blow first time but my passion for dance took over. With a busy schedule, daily rehearsals, my little life as a diabetic college girl was not easy. I’m not going to teach you how ruthless the world of dance is, it takes a lot of will, not counting hours to succeed and keeping a perfect body. I was in a vicious circle, wanting to be the best, forgetting that I was sick. At the time I felt that I was doing enough sports to avoid pricking myself, not to mention my glycemic checks that I did every other month! My health did not trouble me much, the dance was more important. From day to day I was losing a few kilos pounds. My silhouette was refined and my complexion of skin became whiter than chalk. The dance classes became more and more rigorous, the level more difficult and fatigue was felt. At the boarding school everything went well, luckily my friends were there even if we were competing in the dance hall, we were very close outside. My diabetes worried my friends more than me! I even managed to convince them to have their fingers pricked to get results at the top, my self-report book showed only good results! What a stupid idea. I thank the girls for helping me to realize my dream, my passion above all else. I had become so weak that sometimes my friend Sandy or Angelique and all the others gave me my own injections. If I am still here to write to you it may be thanks to them. I see myself again lying on my bed, exhausted, exhausted … Strength just to dance. Obviously there was a huge misunderstanding of the doctors, I must say that I had a hemoglobin glycated to more than 14%. I lived for almost 7 months with little or no insulin. It must be said that my education for my diabetes when discovering my type 1 when I was 12 years was very fast. I think a simple “injection yourself” because your life depends on it would have made me understand or react. I have unfortunately never found the right doctor during my years of sports study, a doctor who really understands my projects including that of becoming a dancer…

A ballet was held every year with all the conservatory, end of 2009 was going to be the last…

Next, very soon. “My last dance”.

– Mathilde –

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